THREE HOUR TOUR! "Sit right back and you'll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip!"
The process you've stumbled upon, which includes these journeys into other realms of experience, began as a surprise to me. I had practiced meditation on and off for some twenty years since learning TM (Transcendental Meditation) in college. During all that time, my experience of the trance state almost never included anything more mystical than the occasional impression in verbal form which I could extrapolate into a stream of ideas pertinent to my life both inner and outer. I did learn through this method of meditation to grasp thought at more subtle layers and to catch larger ideas before words could break them down into less meaningful parts. My preoccupation in my outer life with being a householder and businessman prevented my access to anything more subtle.
Then one day in meditation, about a year after going off to live alone, I had a strong urge to shift from the mantra I had used for ages, to focus instead upon the AUM. The sensation of hearing hundreds of voices chanting in a harmony rich with overtones was unmistakable. I grooved on this sensation for a moment until a visual effect commanded my attention. I found myself looking down at my apartment building as it receded. A bright beam of light ran from me to my apartment below. It wasn't until later that I realized that the light was not coming from me but through me. I was traveling on this light. As my seeming motion took me higher, my view of the city where I live became more inclusive. I looked out over the city and I saw what appeared to be a dome-shaped latticework of light surrounding and reaching down to it. As this shape became clearer in response to my attention to it, I saw how the lines crossed one another, forming a gridwork. It looked very regular but almost casually asymmetrical. Odd! Focusing on my place within the structure revealed that I was at a juncture of two lines of this energy. I asked what purpose I fulfilled here.
"You are a transformer, gathering and intensifying the light," was the response I heard from an unseen source inside my mind. Thoughts came tumbling in then in an effort to gain some kind of perspective on the experience.
"What the heck is a transformer and in what way can I be one?" I asked. I shifted my focus to my senses once more and could feel a sensation of a low electric jolt like a 9-volt battery held to the tongue to check its charge. It was a buzzing of sorts going through my body and mind. There was warmth here, and a great love of my home, parental and protective, washed through me. This was not a common feeling for me since moving here, and it was a pleasure to conjure up. These impressions took only moments to impact upon me. Then, without warning, I watched the scene before me recede at an ever increasing speed. I felt a tinge of vertigo as the planet moved away from me (there's an arrogance if ever I felt one). It was a relief to finally come to rest even if I found myself hundreds of miles above the Earth. As quickly as the image of the big blue marble registered in my awareness, the perception of yet another gridwork of light became clear to me. These beams were more broad and more brilliant then those over my city. The impression of great beauty struck me, though I have no conception of how this sight could be compared to what I had believed beauty to be. It was ethereal beyond description. I was not perceiving this scene in visual terms as I know them, just creating a visual metaphor for some inner event. I shifted focus then into my senses. I was in for a real shock! The electric charge was overwhelming. It burned!
"Oh - Help! Get me out of here!" I shouted with all my mental strength. I was literally scared breathless. I regretted later having rejected such an opportunity. I simply couldn't handle the energy it offered. Back in my body, I was a bundle of nerves. Questions caromed off my mind with the speed of some nuclear reaction chamber. Like waking from a bad dream just before some disaster strikes, I came to with a jolt. The whole experience was shocking to me. I seriously doubted all of it. I just couldn't reconcile my image of myself as an earthy pragmatist with such a mystical event, so I questioned it thoroughly. It would take me several months to begin to find answers to some of these questions.
And I asked everyone I could think of. I read voraciously, looking for clues to the meaning of my vision. Strangely, I also wanted it to happen again. I had felt such a sense of purpose and meaning in being in this light structure. There was so much warmth and love in the event that I felt compelled to learn how to do it again if I could. It was disappointing to find several months go by without a recurrence. Other visionary events took place in the meantime. I really didn't have a chance to wallow in longing for it. In fact, I had set aside the desire for some time when next I visited that realm:
The sensation of being sucked off the ground was very strong. The motion was blurringly fast. It was only seconds before I came to rest above the Earth, arms outstretched. I had an almost solid feeling of the streams of light crossing through my chest. I could feel the power of the energy passing through me and a strong emotional current which defies description (emotional currents do that!). I sensed a profound loving acceptance and the perfection of all things created. It was almost more than I could bear as tears formed in my eyes on all planes of awareness to which I had access. Too, there was a twinge of sadness that I could not stay long in this place. There was such joy here! In response to this sadness, I heard, "Your value here is not a function of time spent." Now who thinks like that? There was attached to the words a knowing of the flexibility of time which escapes me when I'm in my body. My regret vanished as quickly as it sprang up. So too did my vision of being off planet and my meditation moved into other areas.
My third visit to the "Grid," as I am beginning to think of it, holds special meaning to me as an astrologer. As I slid comfortably into place in the now familiar structure of light, I marveled at how wonderful it felt. The ease of moving into this experience and the comfort with which I accepted its power amazed me. It crossed my mind to wonder where this power comes from as I scanned my senses. Looking around revealed only blackness around the earth. I asked where the sun was before checking my senses once more to feel its warmth on my back. A strong awareness struck me then of billions of streams of energy exploding forth from the Sun. The perception of consciousness in this energy grew in me as I tried to focus on it. Primal identity (or "I AM" ) impacted me from this star. I felt a oneness with it (it was identity after all) and knew myself as a fragment of this powerful awareness. I felt it as a source of creative energy on all planes in its vicinity. I sensed that identity is key to creation. All my preconceptions from years of studying astrology went tumbling through my mind to the direct counterpoint of this communication. This energy is expression in its purest form from which human self-consciousness springs. Here in this grid between the source and its expression, between Sun and Earth, I felt my place in the process as sacred and proper. Maybe for the first time, I could feel the purpose and rightness of my existence. There is so much more here to be reconciled from this experience, information which I cannot seem to grasp consciously yet. Still...
Might humanity be the antenna which conveys this pure primal love and joy from the source of all things into the denseness of creation? Then from the wholeness of self-awareness back to God? Can we become clear conduits for the flow of awareness, free from fear, open to both movements of consciousness and fulfilling both destinies of creator and created? Whew! Big idea!
So, do we have a choice anyway? Maybe the only free will that exists is to run headlong and joyfully to fulfill that destiny. We may be able to accept the intense pleasure of bridging between Heaven and Earth and take part in Oneness. Or not!
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