For the sake of continuity, the story that follows is a composite of experiences I have had in meditation and a vignette from a hypnotic regression session. My interaction with the being in question seems to be an ongoing process. She communicates in rich emotional expressions and not in words. The interactions are short and multi-layered.
As my tree took shape before my mind's eye early in meditation one night, my heart expanded with elation. Each encounter in this tree is a new joy for me. I may never decide how real the experiences that it brings actually are. Still, they always seem to offer information which I can use. The practical side of me relishes that.
This particular excursion into its branches was different. Instead of climbing from branch to branch or even gently rising into the tree I sensed a strong pull upwards. It seemed as though I would be pulled completely out of the tree when I started to veer off toward a lantern light in the upper branches.
My wonderment increased immediately as I found myself facing a creature whose existence on this planet may never have taken place. It looked almost like a Pterodactyl. My first thought was that it was totally alien. Curious to know what it held for me, I entered into it at the mere thought of doing so. Instantly we were in flight, its leathery wings beating a soft background noise to our motion. I noticed then that the sky was thoroughly foreign, a bright violet shade, and the clouds an odd yellow. Looking down, the ground was of a golden hue and seemed devoid of plant life.
After a short time in the clouds we flew directly at the side of a canyon, much like in my flight with Eagle but with a distinct difference. As we approached the canyon wall, there was no indication of stopping or alighting anyplace. We went straight through the "rock" and the sense of solidity and peace belied our motion entirely. In that rock, there was a coolness and a calmness otherwise unknown to me. No sooner had I noticed that, than we were out the other side of the canyon and continuing our flight. Just to be sure I had got the message, I guess, we went through the rock once more and then into a mountain nearby. We entered through a point near the peak and went down through. I had a sense of different layers of rock and different mineral energies, but the pace was too brisk to form any thoughts about them.
We emerged into the edge of a forest of the strangest looking trees I can imagine. There was a blue cast to the foliage and a cypress-like spread to the branches. We went into the forest at a furious pace. It conjured images of the a scene from a Star Wars movie of racing through trees on a motorcycle-like contraption, except that instead of dodging the trees, we went right on through them. Each passage through the trees brought an immediate and overwhelming sense of their identities but the movement was so fast that thought again had no time to be formed. I had to dissociate from the motion to consider my experience. I knew that only by doing so could I bring the memory back to my waking awareness.
By this time I had managed to wonder if this could indeed be a pterodactyl and if this new dimension could be where the dinosaurs went. Knowing such speculation to be less than worthwhile I went on to wonder at how she (it was definitely a she) could move us through objects with such ease and speed. The receptivity of such a being was a marvel to feel. Her identity must be such a fluid thing. I could only hope to emulate it. I tried to ask her questions as I would have one of the people I have encountered in this state. But her thought processes were so thoroughly emotional as opposed to conceptual that conversation simply didn't work for me. I figured I was there for the pure experience of it and decided to suspend judgment or thought for a while. Besides, there was so much joy in her that sharing that joy, even for this short time, was consuming all my attention.
As I felt the spirit of the trees we passed through, the awareness of lovingness permeated me. It was this embracing of the connection between all things that allowed her freedom of movement. Such a treasure to be brought along on this ride!
I then asked if it would be possible to experience life on earth in this way. We emerged from the forest into a world more familiar: blue sky and deeper blue ocean below. We plunged into the water still at a blurring speed, and for far too short a time to be really appreciated. We coursed through the water. The ocean bottom teemed with life, though I noticed little motion. It was as though time was standing still and the fishes and plants and the movement of the water were suspended. The sense of life here was profound though. It will stay with me forever.
Still, when I noticed motion ahead, I responded with excitement and that spurred my hostess to follow the creature in front of us. It was a whale and it was enormous. Even the mountain we had entered seemed small by comparison. Before I had a chance to ponder this contradiction we had entered into the whale and just as I had felt the awareness of all the other things we had entered, I knew the whale intimately too. It too thought with its emotions and they held the greatest of joy. Inside it we dove to the depths and I experienced the pure elation of coursing through changes of pressure and light and temperature. No purpose was needed for this dive - just pleasure. It rose to the surface to feed for a moment and gather air and energy to dive once more. It sang out its happiness and welcome as it sensed our presence. I could hear it passing word to its family, then down we went again.
It would be only many days later that its message to me would become more clear. It invited me and all who would share to move with it to another sphere of living. It was moving on with its fellows and wanted the company of whole human beings. The implications of this invitation stagger me still and I can only hope to take it up on its offer someday (as meaningful as "someday" is). I was so struck by the brilliance of its emotional consciousness and the joy in which it existed. I didn't even think to wonder at its gender. This in particular is out of character for me. I had the sense of wholeness that I have not experienced with people, and marvel at this still.
As quickly as I got here, off we went again. This time, I asked to visit with people. This time I think I bit off more than I could chew. I saw us approach a street in some unidentifiable town. There were people along the street, maybe 20 or so that I could see. Such a variety. We approached them one at a time and even though it seemed we could stay in each as long as I wanted to, it all happened so quickly that impressions were all I came away with. First there was an old woman. She had a worn and wrinkled face and was in obvious pain as she ambled down the street. I heard her thoughts as clear as could be as she mumbled to herself about her life and how hard it all was. I had the knowing that her thoughts had created this state of her body yet the connections were not clear at the time. As we went through her body to feel her pain and hear the ugliness in her thoughts and emotions, I knew the message was as clear as I could stand that I too have the power to create such suffering and ugliness. The more she refused to feel joy, the older she became and the more at war with her self.
Then it was on to the next person, a middle-aged and obviously successful businessman. He stood tall and arrogantly proud. He relished his power over others and the command with which he steered his life. I could hear how he disregarded the other people in his world as unimportant and how isolated he felt. Still, that only served to make his pride more potent and ruling. Such a counterpoint to the old woman, he stood erect and walked with such seeming strength of purpose. Any possibility that he might question the value of his life would surely be rejected and repressed. By the time I considered his future despair we were off into another person.
This one was fun: a beautiful woman, all decked out in the highest fashion for a day on the town. Haughty and imperial in bearing and thought, she was convinced the universe was created just for her. "That may be true but...," I thought, before the sense of outrage struck her as a crack in the pavement caught her heel and she stumbled slightly. Her appearance of style and grace momentarily disrupted, she was flustered and angry in the briefest of flashes and her whole body seemed to spasm with this shifting emotion. It was obvious to me that she was far more manipulative than even the businessman had been, using her power to attract as surely as he used money and status. How dare anyone even imply that she was not the center of all creation?! Still, beneath this surface so finely crafted, there lay a core of isolation and disconnection which she could only ignore for a while. The pity was that she would eventually lose enough of her appeal to have to face this layer of herself. Sure was purty though!
With such confused thoughts crashing about in my mind, I asked how a more self-realized person would think and feel. Wouldn't you know that off we went into the visage of a guru-like figure sitting in meditation. Long beard, peaceful face and all. (So it's a stereotype! So what? I asked the question so I guess I had to live with whatever images my mind held as a reply. Not like I have known any enlightened people personally. Anyway, into this guy we go.) This was the most foreign set of thoughts and feelings yet. I could manage to identify a sense of completely impersonal feeling. There seemed to be emotions stirring around in this fellow, but they could gain no purchase and he simply observed them passing on through. Images of interaction with people and things passed with equal ease and even what we would think of as compassion and empathy held no more power than the more "negative" emotions of his experience. I found myself wondering how such a person would function in the world. So...
Off again back into the street. I am getting tired by this time and losing my focus. The impression gleaned from this new character became more fuzzy than the others. He was a balanced individual with the whole gamut of inner life. He responded to all around him with a richness of feeling and even got caught up a little in the realities of others. But he always came back to center by releasing his expectations. I marveled at how easy this felt as it shifted from emotional turmoil to calm, from inclusion to objectivity and detachment. I tried to look beneath this surface to see how the layers under it might appear to his senses.
When I regained consciousness... I was thoroughly spent. This experience left me quite speechless for many minutes afterward and a little stupid verbally for a couple of days. There was too much information. It has taken me some weeks to finally get it into a form as comprehensible as this. Still, there is more to be gleaned from the experience if I can touch those parts of myself that felt it more deeply than I normally reach. I have a glimmer of understanding about the forms of the beings I enter to travel through these events. This creature was one of emotion and receptivity. She afforded an experience of life on that level and showed me things that I could not have grasped any other way. I will be the first to admit that getting to the point where I could experience (or allow myself to experience) life in such emotional terms has been a rocky road. I have put myself through a fair amount of suffering in the process. This is not because I had to but because I didn't believe it could be otherwise. Maybe I can learn from these brothers and sisters to accept that I have a right to joy and to allow my emotional life to present such joy to me. Time (whatever that is) will tell.
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