CHAPTER 13

The Shape of the Infinite Self

As you free your mind of beliefs which strangle your creativity, you begin to sense that you have phenomenal power. Perhaps you have experienced putting an object down in some obvious place, intentionally and right where it belongs. Later, when you go to retrieve the object, where you distinctly remember placing it, it is gone. Extensive searching produces little result except frustration. At some later time, you stumble across the object precisely where you have previously looked for it. A mystery!

Perhaps you have been engaged in some mundane task and your mind has wandered into some area with a noticeable emotional charge, blissful, angry or some such. Suddenly, you snap back to attention onto the task at hand, driving for instance, and you would swear that something significant has changed. Perhaps it is the colour of your dashboard lights or maybe the colour of the sky or the road or even where you are on your journey. Now, you may have simply laughed these examples off as some foray into the Twilight Zone. You may have proclaimed such things as coincidence, mind cramps or figments of your imagination. We have another possibility for you to consider.

We have urged you to consider that the Self is Infinite. It expands outwards in ALL directions, through time (and hence through space) into dimensions of feeling and thought and permeates all of creations in dimensions of spirit. The you that you know of consciously is but one out of an infinite number of points of self awareness throughout the vastness of your being. Your movement through your spacious self follows your command. You really do create your reality by choosing, from the infinity of possibilities, what you want that reality to be. Every potential experience of reality that might fill your next moment of perception already exists in the vastness of infinity. This includes the potential to experience realities far different from your traditional three dimensional perceptions. Based on your beliefs and the power of your addiction to your past experience, you choose which of these realities to occupy in each moment of awareness. The most powerful layers of choice are, to you, the most subtle, so you are not always aware of the choices being made. Indeed, most people don't even have a conscious inkling that their choices, even the conscious ones, have any affect on reality at all.

Imagine a computer running a huge number of programs at once. Imagine that you can click into any of these at will. The ones most similar to the program you are presently working with will be the quickest and easiest to slip into. In fact, they are so similar that you can move into them seamlessly, rarely even knowing that you have changed programs. Not noticing the shift makes it hard to figure out what you might have done to produce such a change. If you were to change to a program that is radically different from what you wanted, it would be pretty scary and you might scramble to get back to where you were. If you could not get back to the program you called "normal," well you can imagine. You may have to learn the protocols of this radically different program before figuring out how to return to the world you shared with the rest of your culture.

Your infinite self can, in a small way, be likened to this model. Each moment of your existence moves through multiple dimensions, choosing what expression suits your beliefs. Small little "sideways" shifts occur constantly into imperceptibly different versions of the self you know right now. All that you have "learned" as you have gone through life has resulted from these shifts into alternate "you's" that have such knowledge. Your life has never really followed the linear path that you have been taught to perceive it following. Even your physical growth in childhood has been the result of these "sideways" shifts into entirely new (to your conscious mind) versions of yourself. What has remained consistent is your awareness of self. Or has it? As we suggest in the chapter on Ascension, each passage is followed by your internal shift back to normality, a transformed normality.

Now, we are not suggesting that consolidating your gains in self awareness, by achieving a perception that where you are at any point in your journey is "normal," is inherently incorrect. Indeed, this serves a valid and valuable function, the grounding we spoke of earlier. We do, though, suggest it is safer now to shift farther from where you are than at earlier stages in your development. This is the purpose of the exercises we suggest and why they are offered in the order and magnitude you find herein. The increasing practice of self-expansion allows you to shift even farther from who you are right now, so you may perceive more of your wholeness. This is NOT a linear process. You have a growth process much more spiralic in form, a straight line dead ahead, a wave from the side, a circle from another perspective, a spiral from the outside and so on. You pulse on and off and all other motions spring from your pulsing. Our purpose in all of this is merely to validate this process in which you are already engaged. In effect, we are telling you that with all of your changes in identity and perception, this too is "normal." After all, "normal," the word you use to grant security and a sense of stability, is just a definition, a personal and arbitrary one at that. As your life speeds up, which you have likely noticed already, change becomes more the new norm for you. Looking directly at your infinite self, expanding your identity to the extremes of your potential provides the widest, most stable foundation for your physical life to rest upon. Change will cease to be a de-stablizing experience within such an enlarged perspective.

Now, you may wonder how to use this new vision of yourself as a wandering consciousness exploring the vast possibilities of your own being. The first effect of this perspective is to unlock you from the prison of your own expectations. Merely considering the idea that you can allow yourself to experience awareness that differs greatly from the world you live in right now, pushes you to let go a little from the rigidity of your training. If you couple this idea with the knowledge that the rhythm of the universe affords you safety in your forays into the unknown, pulling you back to a spiritual homeostasis, you can move more boldly away from your addictive present world view. Even if you step outward into what, from the outside, might seem like madness, you will seek and find a sense of stability and normality even there. Besides, it only appears to be madness because it differs so much from your present reality and the reality of those around you. Those you now call insane know happy and sad just as you do. Their world is no less under their control than yours is under your control. They merely lack a large consensus, falsely based, for their reality.

Let's go back to our first example. Perhaps you have experienced putting an object down in an obvious place, right where you might expect to easily find it later. When you once more need this thing, it is nowhere to be found. You look several times right where you remember putting it and in the general vicinity and it is plainly not there. Eventually you give up the search in frustration and go on with your life. At some point in the future, this object finally turns up just where you put it in the first place and where you distinctly remember looking for it. How can you explain this phenomenon? There certainly are many ways! Most of them are self denying too. We suggest the seamless shifting into alternate versions of your reality which expand infinitely in all directions (infinity is a very big place), is the real explanation. You simply stepped into a version of you that held the frustration (and this is the key) that you needed to find an internal balance with your thought processes. This version of you did not include the item you sought. Then later, you returned to the emotional balance which reflected the reality which still held the lost object. The changes in your emotional state hold the key to this process.

We remind you of our earlier discussions about the potential in the four "bodies" for misalignment. Such disparity of belief, thought, feeling and action sets up the possibility of uncomfortable shifts in your lifestream alternatives in order to restore balance to these bodies. For instance, if you desire a certain achievement and put that desire into action, you will shift into a lifestream automatically which holds the potential for that experience in your future. If you hold a belief that you do not deserve the rewards of that achievement, you will cause the motions towards that outcome to waver, pulling yourself to and fro into lifestreams that sometimes offer that potential for achievement and sometimes do not. Meanwhile, you experience a gamut of emotional highs and lows, frustrations and triumphs that may boggle your mind. As your psyche tends to be even more complex than this example, the process of shifting through alternative lifestreams becomes too vast and intricate to fathom. If you manage to clear your internal conflicts enough to begin to sense the shifts as they happen, you will find this growing ever easier to participate in consciously.

Let's take illness as another example. The flow of spirit is inexorable. It moves in an ordered rhythmic motion. When you flow receptively with that rhythm, all of you exists in a balanced and stable state. There is change going on all around and through you but your being is stable within the flow of change. If, as a result of your world view (some thoughts and beliefs run counter to this flow of spirit), a disharmonious tone is struck within you, a syncopation in this rhythmic flow. As this moves towards manifestation, it becomes more out of sync with the primal flow. Discomfort ripples through the layers of awareness that make up your identity and you innately seek balance. The imbalance which begins in the patterns of thoughts, which you call beliefs, gets translated into the body to give the whole system a stable balance. Painful as it is, illness creates a homeostasis in the flow of change which constantly ripples through your being.

Now the mechanics of this are remarkably simple. When your beliefs are out of sync with the fundamental thrust of your spiritual self, a tide washes through your emotional body which propels you into whatever alternative "you" creates a total being balance point in that moment. That balance point often manifests illness as the balancing display. Strong emotional responses produce stronger shifts in perspective. Thus, more distant alternative life streams are experienced. By learning to hold back your emotional vigour, repressing your most primal feelings, you hold the shifting to a most linear and slight series of external changes. Meanwhile, the unseen internal shifting becomes more extreme to compensate and balance the repression of the natural flow. It is the resistance, the holding back, which your thinking tells you is necessary, which sets you shifting out of physical harmony. To regain genuine health and balance, a change in thinking needs to be made.

At the highest levels of thought, those which you might not even be aware of generally, you harbor a resistance to the constant state of change which spirit experiences. At this exalted level of thought, where conscious awareness of spirit is possible, a genuine trust in your most essential nature must be placed. More correctly, it must be fostered. It exists there already. It must exist because you exist. However, it is conflicted by your very real fear of non-existence, a fear that you can do nothing about except to embrace it and choose to continue to exist in spite of it. As you learn to identify your fear of change from the most mundane examples to the most sublime, your willingness to flow with the inexorability of change increases. That willingness allows the flow and you suffer less illness and pain while your life moves faster. The most subtle layers of the self will be "healed" last, simply because they are too subtle to be conscious first. Still, every moment that you apply acceptance of what is to the coarsest layers of yourself, the closer you step towards "healing" the most subtle. We suggest you take each moment of discomfort, physically, emotionally and so on as an opportunity to let go and embrace what is. Practice trusting in your own inexorable will to joy. The source of your pain is well up on the hierarchy of the self. No mistake about that. The pain in your body is not the creation of your body. It begins in beliefs which structure your thoughts and power your feelings and initiate actions. Your application of love and acceptance of and to your body sends a vital and powerful message to these more subtle fear structures from which the imbalance springs.

The most common way in which the shifts from one universe of probabilities to another takes place is by the state of being getting entangled in an alternate one "adjacent" to it. It is adjacent in that the differences are minute and little emotional charge is needed to move into its vortex. A simple and comfortable decision allows a movement of the life stream into the vortex of this new alternate you. The enmeshing occurs much like two spirals of wire, a slinky for instance or the coils of a spring or spiral notebook, becoming entangled. The whirling of the vortexes of energy and thought which make up all forms, get caught up in the flow of the next moment that your pattern of thought and feeling have dictated. Because an adjacent vortex is so very much like your "present" state, you resonate with it instantaneously and assume its parameters. Remember our earlier discussion about your present exploding into past and future. You are intensely unaware of changes in your past created by decisions in the now. Those changes seem perfectly suited to fill your memories. You create a stable time line so quickly and thoroughly that this whole process is bizarrely new to you. None the less, it does describe the flow of reality as seen from the perspective of the soul.

As we have said, strong surges of emotion will push you farther from your "present". The strength of your resolve will force a resonating response to the new territory and stability reigns still. That is your strong immediate desire at work both to force the shift and to stabilize it immediately. The hearty emotional push from conflicting beliefs and desires will make resonating with the new state of being more difficult and the resulting perception of reality will prove more traumatic, in greater or lesser degree, depending on the strength of the internal conflict which sparks the movement. All of this intense activity of trans-dimensional shifting is so normal to your existence that it is as ignored as the activity of each of your body's cells. It is only when you begin to desire large sweeping changes in your life, like the development of psychic abilities or experiences of expanded consciousness or a re-balancing that brings you off of the precipice of suicide for instance, that the nature of the shifting begins to be suspected. As your openness to higher frequencies develops, the distance from your "present" state that you become able to leap increases.

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Making it Practical

Using this vision to describe reality as you perceive it will liberate you from the prison of linear thinking. Your belief in cause and effect has locked you into seeing growth as a series of tiny steps forward (as you define forward). This vision of an infinite branching of potential affords you the freedom to allow large sweeping strides toward an alignment with your true intent as a being. Powered by the strength and focus of your desire to live out your most primal intent (The Will of God) you can accept a more dramatic change in your perception of your world. Trust is the key, your beliefs about reality the lock, your fear of the unknown the door, and an amazing journey into the vastness of your own self the reward.

With an act of will on your part, you can create shifts which are beyond any you have previously experienced. The strength of your intent and the energy of emotion that you put behind the statement of your intent, powers the shifts you can make.

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Enter once again into a meditative state. Be sure you have reached a quiet and objective awareness. Be sure you are open to the deepest impulses from your whole self that you can reach. Ask with complete non-judgement yet with complete, sincere yearning, for a single word which states the most profound desire of your beingness. Be open and attentive and do not argue with yourself about what you get. Afterwards, if you find that the answer offered was not large enough or universal enough, you may take another run at it. We suggest you live with what you get for a few days, allowing the implications and associations to settle into your consciousness. Such clarification will help you to focus on what might lay beneath your first answers. Then, go back and do it again. See what new ideas develop for you.

Once you have a word that describes your inner longing in a most universal way, you will find it quite easy to accept this self definition. You will see its tendrils reaching into pretty much every facet of your life so far. If this is not so, you merely continue the quest for this definition until you get one that does fit. We assure you that there is an overall theme for your existence. Your intent to find this answer to what you most deeply desire will bring it to your conscious awareness. That is how much power consciousness really has. The trick is accepting the real answer when it comes. It may seem too vast to be a reachable goal. It likely is too vast. Still, it powers every choice you have ever made in life, even if it powers a seeming movement away from your true desire. Coming up with such a clear statement of your intent for your life is very empowering. Explore that power. Watch how it bursts out of you into the future you have so far envisioned for yourself. Enjoy the sharp clarity this idea provides and imagine how it will shape a new future of clear manifestation of intent.

When you return from the meditative state with an answer that has all of your inner bells ringing, you can now state your clear intention in a most loud fashion. You can do this any time and as often as you wish to bring your intent into the physical, daily, world. In a standing position, begin to focus your attention as sharply as possible on your intent. Allow all parts of your psyche to get involved by opening your emotional, mental and spiritual bodies and all the senses you can bring to bear to touch those parts of yourself. This is easier than you may think. Because this intent permeates your being and has since you were born, it will come to the surface in every facet pretty easily. Simply state your desire to open at these levels. Out loud is most effective but stating it inwardly will work to a large degree too. As your attention becomes more and more focused, you will feel your physical body begin to respond. Heart beat increases and blood pressure rises, muscular readiness begins as the adrenalin begins to flow and other symptoms become apparent. When you reach a point of intense determination, focused on your deepest desire, state that one word loudly while in a single motion contract every muscle in your body. Crouch partially to contract your legs and waist, strike downwards with your hands beside your body to contract the arms and shoulders, tense the feet and hands and face all at the same time. This drives the intent you pursue into nearly every cell of your body.

Remember that the cells of your body have aligned with your intent to exist. They have also adapted to your more specific input from your conscious mind and its fears and misunderstandings about your purpose in life. Throwing your conscious will into your primal intent like this will immediately create changes in your body. The cells will automatically respond to the increase in power this exercise looses. Your health and vigour will increase immediately. This may take the form of discharging the toxic build-up of old beliefs. You may have some odd symptoms develop and nag you for a while. Trust that this is simply a process of releasing what your cells no longer need to hold onto to manifest these old conflicting desires.

Let's take for example that you came up with the word "awareness" in your quest for your primal desire. Because your cells were innately aligned to this intent, each time you experience and believe, "I don't want to go there," your cells experience a blocking force in their normal functioning. Chemicals that would normally move along in their usual pattern become withheld or stored in line with the emotional force of withholding that you have willed into manifestation with your fear. Clarifying and removing blocks to your primal desire begins to free all those blocks, emotional and physical. You will experience those things that lurked where you didn't want to go. Layer upon layer will peel off, come to the surface to be released. Your quest for awareness makes it possible for these issues to bubble up freely and be embraced and released. You will be well served to repeat this process often to continue these layers on their way and to remind you of why you are experiencing what you are experiencing emotionally and physically. Eventually, when this strong statement of who you are becomes pretty much a constant in your conscious life, all the gunk accumulated in your lifetime will be flowing once again.

This single act, stating loudly your most fundamental purpose in existing, will power great leaps into awareness or learning or exploration or loving or wherever you most want to go in your life. You can put your whole being into manifesting this desire. Therefore, you can power large leaps into alternative parts of yourself to bring this desire into your experience. Every time you reconnect with this desire and remind yourself that you can, indeed, leap to its fruition immediately by simply choosing to, you create great shifts in your reality. You have precisely what you want with no more effort than believing that you can. We have offered you a reality which affords such ease. Consider, if you will, that the only reason that you do not now make miracles in your life is that you do not believe that you can. You need no longer plod along, learning everything a step at a time. This is a ticket directly to GO! You can have what you most want Right Now! Life is not about learning lessons, it is about experiencing the joy of your beingness. A string of these moments of being who you most want to be will add up to tremendous joy. They will add up to a motion dramatically and wonderfully large as you leap toward the future that you most desire. This is what is most often meant by the expression Following The Will of God..

To The Epilogue