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SECTION 2
Chapter 6
Losing the Human Form

It is important to brook no expectations about what this means or how it may appear. You have a vast repertoire for expressing this development. Scripting it in any way would be counterproductive. The human form (more accurately format) is a conceptualization that you have been assembling since infancy. You add to it constantly as you go through your days. You refer to it with each experience no matter how small. It is bound to your idea of "you" and it limits the growth of that idea. It describes far more than just the physical expression and experience of "you". It is cast before you as the advance guard to every thought and feeling, every interpretation and search for meaning and every yearning and desire that drives you.

In recent years, through this course of exploration, you have peered through its eyes at what lay beyond the human form. You have searched for trap doors, escape clauses and loopholes to find release. Mostly, you were at best unsure of what and why you searched. Often you dashed down blind alleys shaped by the very traits of humanness that you desired to escape.

Now that you have broken through a few times to see what is beyond its walls, you will have that freedom be as constant as your human identity has been for so long. You have had a taste of the frustration of this urge. Every foray beyond the borders has ended abruptly like a morning dream. Nearly every day you watch yourself get embroiled anew in your dramas of bodily function, family interaction, work and so on.

In each moment you experience the flow of identity. Without some structure of self-ness you would be torn asunder by the impact of infinity upon that flow. Eventually, you will be torn asunder by it unless you expand that structure to include such expansiveness. To not drown in this river you must become the water. Becoming water may, in fact, be an easier feat to achieve.

In much of your search you have butted into the idea of ego from many sources and directions. In nearly all discussions ego has been cast in the role of boogeyman. You repeatedly encounter the thought that ego needs to be eradicated or at least maimed enough to lose its power and influence over you. The very use of the word separates it from you in an almost material fashion, giving it a life of its own. Investing in the reality of the ego becomes something of a haunting to which you may refer at every turn; a separate internal identity with which you are to do battle and from which you are to seek freedom. For these reasons and many more we have refrained from discussing the idea in so solid a form. Even if you had or were an ego, it would not be your enemy. It would, like your identity as human, be an artificial construct to hold you together in the face of infinity. It exists, if at all, to be expanded and not destroyed.

As we discussed earlier in terms of energy, your focus of identity can be understood as having three states of being. Though at birth your identity is quite fluid in its simplicity with few walls between you and the world of appearances, the effort and focus most often turns to making your identity as solid as possible. From the first moments of discomfort your individuality grows. Great attention is focused upon making that identity as firm and strong as possible. Every interaction can add to that certainty of uniqueness from all things outside your body. This solidification can continue throughout a lifetime as a matter of choice though it needs a great deal of denial of both internal and external evidence.

In your case, even your memberships were greatly competitive from family interaction outward into your community. Your rebellions were as emotionally satisfying as your friendships. Your awareness of others grew steadily through childhood and adolescence making your attachment to your body more and more solid.

Throughout young adulthood you sought to establlish your place in the world around you. Creating family was as much about fitting in and becoming solid as about loving and sharing. Indeed, your creativity in action arose from your identity in order to solidify it even more. "I did this!" made you different from your parents as well as from the world at large.

All of this took place without much conscious consideration on your part. What started with small moments of survival trauma blossomed into an entire world view with you at its center. There were certainly some mitigating moments along the way. For instance, your doubts and questions about religion, about authority and about your place in the grand scheme of society. A large and meaningful moment in mid-adolescence, your LSD experience was like a sledgehammer blow to the glass wall of your identity and definitions of reality. Still the foundation wall was only crazed, leaving a steady reminder of your questioning of the nature of reality but little actual demolition. Identity remained a solid construct. While you questioned and studied through the adult years, it was a leisure activity at best. You focused tightly enough upon the rock hard picture of daily life that seemed to threaten your survival just enough to grab your attention.

It was mid-life that caused the greatest shift. You stepped away from life for nearly the first time as you searched for meaning in all that had transpired until then. What started with the inner urge to correct the ill-conceived structures of your life in the world became a cascade of choices to redefine the "I" that you had built to be so firm though its foundation was now crumbling. Meditation, which you had begun as a teen but had been a mostly occasional pursuit, now became a central part of your death grip on reality. The depression that built within you in the first part of your crisis demanded new reasons to live and new methods to make possible the life that had been missing all along.

This turning inward and reflecting, not upon yourself but upon your place in the Universe rubbed away at the solid walls of your identity.The closer you came to transcending your intellect and experiencing unconditional love, the more fluid your identity became. Loving powered the motion into recognizing yourself in the world around you and realizing your creative role therein. The more fluid your identity became the more easily it poured into the people and experiences that filled daily life. You built a lifestyle that supported and encouraged this fluidity and led you to moments of sparkle and expansion toward SELF.

The gaseous state of identifying with the conscious Universe is not a steady state of experience. It is very volatile. You morph into and out of this state because of the pull of gravity on the one hand and the impact of infinite expansion on the other. These opposing pulls create friction which inspires the bubbling and evaporation of your identity. The fluid state affords you the chance to hold together both the Oneness and the life in the world. This is a state of balance that can come to define human-ness. From here you can function as both body and spirit, extending into form the wholeness of life and the unconditionality of love and awareness.

Releasing the human form includes replacing the form of Tim with the form of all humanity. Every experience can be seen through the identity of all humanity. Every experience can be seen through the identity of humanity. Looking out the window is not only your action but the action, in various stages and meanings, of all humanity. Every sensation is a shared experience of the human form. Every human that has that sensation in past, present or future in some degree and effect. At some layer of awareness every human has every experience of all humans, not eventually but right now. So, step beyond the limits of your body to redefine the identity to which you refer all experience. Include all of humanity, throughout time, with each thought and feeling. This activity spiritualizes every sensation, every thought and feeling, every action. Aspire to include all of your world into every moment. You can free yourself from the shackles of your tiny self with all of its pain and loneliness. You can then find out what lay beyond the human form.

This is not unfamiliar territory for you. It is the realm of the intellect in its highest aspect. Instead of using intellect to discriminate and to judge, this activity uses the function to unify and to perceive the human condition in all experience. It affords you the rationale of validity to all human potential. This is the last stage of physical functioning and identification before walking the earth in unconditional love; something that your practical nature will not easily accept.

In your meditations you can release your physical identity with relative ease but it is challenging to make the coffee in that state. You can, however, do basic functions while mentally engaged in loftier pursuits. You have long practiced social interaction from an open and loving awarness. You have even practiced identifyng with others one at a time. Begin to look at each, including the one in the mirror, as the human species, all of it, in which you participate. Hold in your thoughts that all are aware of every iota of your experience in the present moment. Really see that in action. There is only one of us here!

When you interact, focus upon the wholeness of each representative of your species. They experience every facet of the human condtion just as you do. They are you! The more of them that you embrace, the closer to wholeness you grow. Seek to understand other cultures and how human experience is shaped by them. Seek to experience the cultural imprint expressed around you and through you. Instead of refuting that imprinting, include it and see the layering of idea and belief being expressed. Embrace it as you have your own. Allow the differences across cultures to be incuded in the wholeness of human experience.

There is a tipping point in the awareness of humanity where you will transcend your identification as human. As you expand into the wholeness of the species, you can perceive the source of that grand idea more clearly. Its niche in the grand scheme of creation is pitifully small but as necessary to the wholeness of infinity as any other form of life and awareness.

So, now that we have addressed your current state of identity, we can peer forward into where you are headed with your explorations. While your mind has been rushing on ahead of your emotional and intellectual experience, you have had glimpses of unity that are truly compelling. You are frustrated that you cannot simply stay there and leave the solid world behind. You are also quite secretly relieved to still be in a body and a world that you know how to manage.

As your recent recapitulations have shown you, the fears and insecurities that block your growth, spiritually speaking, are deep rooted and tenacious. You are seeing in your infancy and childhood solidified traits, predispositions and identifications that grasp and hold onto those fears as if for dear life itself. The peeling process that we began together decades ago is not yet complete. The core remains covered and unknown. By seeing your layers of fear depicted in humanity as well as those that you no longer retain, you can lavish love and forgiveness upon them. You can accept the validity of them in the context of your life and release them to move beyond. It is very much the same processes that you have practiced for years, just at a more subtle level. In the next chapter you wll be challenged to imagine something well outside of your past experience. It will be giving you pause to capture and write it down. Be patient!

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