An Emotional Primer for Men

Chapter 6: Peeling the Onion

Once we start peeling the onion and releasing the hold of the fears and pain stored there, the pace of the process accelerates.

If that (chapter 5) is the good part ...

What have we accomplished to get to this pretty pass? Well, we've opened the floodgates to our emotions! It certainly feels that way doesn't it? We've removed the biggest and strongest barriers to self awareness that we have. That is pretty amazing! Now every life experience brings forth not only an immediate emotional response, but a growing number of resonant past experiences as well, along with their attendant emotions, resulting in a growing sense of detachment and self acceptance. Look how large we are getting to be!

Each trauma, great or small, that life throws at us now will dredge up our past experience of similar feelings to be inspected and released. Like the Toltec concept of recapitulation described in the Castaneda books, we are opening our past experience and releasing the trapped energies of awareness. Shamanism calls this soul retrieval. Yes, it means reliving old pain and finally allowing ourselves to really feel it but the unconscious hold that pain has had on us ever since is relieved. In the process, our awareness is dramatically increased. The energy with which we can live our lives is increased as well.

Eventually, the most subtle events in our lives can open us to new layers of our being. Clearing this old blocked energy from our emotional and physical bodies creates a state of health and peace for our souls that no medicine can match. If you've followed me so far, you probably already figured out that the worst of the process is at the beginning. As we explore deeper into our pasts, we gain greater detachment. We know that we are no longer the children who feared our parent's anger in potty training. We are not the being that was convinced that weaning meant our starving to death or the loss forever of the warmth and closeness of human contact. The fact that these traumas have influenced our lives into adulthood is simply astounding! We can, however, look at them more dispassionately than at events in our present moments. The death of a parent, the loss of a lover, the disdain of fellow travelers, all these present traumas added to those of the past can overwhelm us into responding unconsciously to life. We do this to our own detriment. Facing our immediate feelings and tracing their roots into our pasts gets easier. This is a wonderful cycle of healing we are on. Healing past traumas makes dealing with the present ones much easier too!

Yes, the pace quickens. Each stage of growth in self awareness makes the next stage larger and easier and faster to cycle through. We cut through many layers at once as we progress. That really is the good news!

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