An Emotional Primer for Men
Chapter 6: Peeling the Onion
Once we start peeling the onion and releasing the hold of the fears
and pain stored there, the pace of the process accelerates.
If that (chapter 5) is the good part ...
What have we accomplished to get to this pretty pass? Well, we've opened
the floodgates to our emotions! It certainly feels that way doesn't it?
We've removed the biggest and strongest barriers to self awareness that
we have. That is pretty amazing! Now every life experience brings forth
not only an immediate emotional response, but a growing number of resonant
past experiences as well, along with their attendant emotions, resulting
in a growing sense of detachment and self acceptance. Look how large we
are getting to be!
Each trauma, great or small, that life throws at us now will dredge
up our past experience of similar feelings to be inspected and released.
Like the Toltec concept of recapitulation described in the Castaneda books,
we are opening our past experience and releasing the trapped energies of
awareness. Shamanism calls this soul retrieval. Yes, it means reliving
old pain and finally allowing ourselves to really feel it but the unconscious
hold that pain has had on us ever since is relieved. In the process, our
awareness is dramatically increased. The energy with which we can live
our lives is increased as well.
Eventually, the most subtle events in our lives can open us to new layers
of our being. Clearing this old blocked energy from our emotional and physical
bodies creates a state of health and peace for our souls that no medicine
can match. If you've followed me so far, you probably already figured out
that the worst of the process is at the beginning. As we explore deeper
into our pasts, we gain greater detachment. We know that we are no longer
the children who feared our parent's anger in potty training. We are not
the being that was convinced that weaning meant our starving to death or
the loss forever of the warmth and closeness of human contact. The fact
that these traumas have influenced our lives into adulthood is simply astounding!
We can, however, look at them more dispassionately than at events in our
present moments. The death of a parent, the loss of a lover, the disdain
of fellow travelers, all these present traumas added to those of the past
can overwhelm us into responding unconsciously to life. We do this to our
own detriment. Facing our immediate feelings and tracing their roots into
our pasts gets easier. This is a wonderful cycle of healing we are on.
Healing past traumas makes dealing with the present ones much easier too!
Yes, the pace quickens. Each stage of growth in self awareness makes
the next stage larger and easier and faster to cycle through. We cut through
many layers at once as we progress. That really is the good news!
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